Kids jokes

How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

Kid: I forgot to flush the toilet, sorry I just forgot.

Adult: Just like your parents forgot YOU 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Why did the cops come over?

Because parents had kids in their basement.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."

I had to go to my friend's house.

I went in her basement and I saw taped mouths that are KIDS in the basement... Is my friend OK???

What does an orphan and a female's mouth have in common?

They take in 100's of kids.

What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?

Forgot to clean little piece of dust.