Kids jokes
Knock knock. Who's there? Colin! Colin who? Colonisation!
Just kidding, colonisers don't knock before they come in.
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What is the difference between Superman and an emo kid? Superman can actually land.
What do ya call a group of emo kids hanging from a tree? Ornaments.
The emo kid went to give a tree a high five.
The tree left him hanging.
I see a kid crying in the park, right? So I go up to him and say, "Hey, where are your parents?" and he says, "Well, my dad left to get the milk and never came back, and my mother died in a plane crash in the Bermuda Triangle."
How do you get a discount off groceries?
Scan the emo kid's wrists.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair going through a fire? Ghost Rider.
One day this kid says to his dad, "Dad, they bully me at school."
His dad asks why, and the kid says, "They bully me because I got no hands."
Then his dad says, "Who would do such a thing like that? I want to know who they are. Point at them!"
Why don't Asian kids believe in Santa Claus?
Because they're the ones who made the toys.
So I became a teacher in a school for disabled children.
A kid wanted to ask me a question, so I told him to stand while he address me. 💀
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Hot Wheels!"
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Me: "Gift a homeless kid iPhone 7."
The kid: But it has no home button.
Me: Exactly. 💀
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?
Someone turned off flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and said, "Hot Wheels!"
An orphan once said, "I will call my mum and go home."
A homeless kid once said he will go home.
Kid: Knock, knock.
Orphan: Who’s there?
Kid: Not your parents.
I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"
I was in class and we had to choose another term for words we use everyday. For kid, I chose "child"; for dog, I chose "pet"; and for wife, I chose "dishwasher."