Kids jokes
I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.
What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A bus full of kids.
Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...
Just kidding.
So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:
Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?
Student: PIGS!
Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?
Student: SHEEP!
Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.
Student: IK where that comes from!
A FAT COW! 😂😂
So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."
When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.
Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."
What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?
Raisin' kids.
If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.
If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.
Dude, ABC, what comes next?
Kid: A big fat noob.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
How did Fortnite record their henchman sounds?
They asked a bunch of kids with Down syndrome to film a documentary.
My mom said she wanted to be a comedian when she grows up. So after she was an adult, she had kids. When they were old enough, she told them you could be whatever you want...
Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?
Weird Kid: Magazines.
I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.
Why wouldn’t Mrs. Grapes leave her children behind?
Because she loves raisin kids.
Kid goes to the kitchen.
Mom: What are you doing here?
Kid: Just checking out the knife.
Mom: So you've chosen death.