Kids jokes

How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...

Kid asks, "What is dark humor?" Me *points*, "See that guy across the street..." Kid: "I can't... I'm blind." Me: "Exactly."

I got sent to the principal's office for lighting the kid in the wheelchair on fire and calling him hot wheels.

Adopted kid:

Hey, Alex, what are you doing?

Alex:

Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."

Adopted kid:

OK, dad Alex.

Alex:

Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!

Adopted kid:

I’m so glad I have a mom.

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Cool kid: I slept with your sister.

Me: Never knew my brother was a girl.

Everyone else: :O

I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

I'm telling my kids that in 2020 I survived world war 3, the zombie apocalypse, the invasion of the murder hornets, and the second American revolution.

What do you call a bunch of biracial, retarded kids? The Special Olympics.

What’s yellow and can’t swim?

A bus full of kids.

Stephen Hawking walked in a bar...

Just kidding.

So in class, they were learning about where food comes from:

Teacher: So kids, where does bacon come from?

Student: PIGS!

Teacher: Correct. Where does mutton come from?

Student: SHEEP!

Teacher: And finally, here’s your homework.

Student: IK where that comes from!

A FAT COW! 😂😂

So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

When you're the only one nice to the quiet kid.

Kid: "I like you... don't go to school tomorrow."

What does Mrs. Grapes 🍇 love the most?

Raisin' kids.

If a man kills a kid, it's called Murder.

If a woman kills a kid, it's called Reproductive Rights.

Dude, ABC, what comes next?

Kid: A big fat noob.

What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.

Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌

Kat, what? I did. A cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah! So funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time of Do you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin?