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Kids jokes

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!

Have you ever met a kid who’s so fat that they can’t even be accepted to “My 600lb Life”? They need a higher-ranking one!

What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?

I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.

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    • Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."

    Kid: "OK THANK YOU."

    (AT BED TIME)

    Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"

    Ben: "I'm not."

    (Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"

    My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

    He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

    Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

    There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

    (They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

    Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

    Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

    Because he got hit by a bus!

    Three kids one day found a magical slide. There was a sign next to it saying, “Whatever you wish for comes true once you slide down.” One kid stepped up and slid down. He wished for a river of chocolate, thus he swam in a chocolate river.

    The second kid slid down and wished for a mountain of money. He then landed in a pile of money. The third kid went down and said, “Weeeeeeee!”

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    • What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?

    Dark humor never dies!

    Kid: Hey, Dad.

    Dad: You're an hour late.

    Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.

    Dad: By yourself?

    Kid: No.

    Dad: A boy?

    Kid: I was with the teacher.

    Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.

    *The next day*

    Uncle: F*CK!

    A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."

    The other sibling said, "You are, too."

    Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."

    And the sibling says, "We're twins."

    The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."

    I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.