Kids jokes
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
What hit the floor first, the kid or the feather?
The feather.
The rope stopped the kid.
When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."
What did they do with his body when he died?
They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.
One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.
Kid 1: Do you know Candace?
Kid 2: Candace who?
Kid 1: Candace dick fit in your mouth!
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
How do you help a depressed kid face their fears... You count to 3 and say jump?
Q. What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. The phrase "jump rope" means different things.
Q. What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid? A. One has a functioning neck.
What's an emo kid's favorite movie?
Suicide Squad.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.
When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
How to punish a blind kid, rearrange his bedroom.
I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.
Why did the kid cry?
His dad didn't get the milk.
A depressed kid tried to give a tree a high-five, but the tree left him hanging.