Ketchup jokes
Why is a ketchup bottle like a kid? Cause they're like, "Squirt!" (squirt ketchup).
I don't even like ketchup, so it stays stinky.
Suck on a finger, once bite it off, taste it, put some ketchup on it, wait, I'm making a mess, I bit it off!
🥫Wewo wewo, stop right now or we will be forced to stop your self.
No, not like you can ketchup!
My dog went through my bathroom garbage, and for some reason, my sister put a bunch of ketchup packets in there...
I asked my mom to make me a brat. She was sleepy but I said do it anyway. My mom and my dad had fucked last night so he was on the couch but naked. She took a knife and sliced his dick, then put it on a bun, then ketchup and mustard. I said this tasted funny. She was snoring, then I threw it and said, "EW IS THIS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK AHHH!!!!?!?!!!!"
Ever since that day, they haven't fucked again because he ain't got nun to fuck with.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup? "Quit running so fast, let me ketchup to you."
If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.
So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
"This isn't ketchup."
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
Why are tomatoes 🍅 the slowest vegetable?
Because they can’t ketchup.
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"