Keep jokes

Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?

Shut up and keep sewing!

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it embarrass you?”

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep telling them it’s for you.”

A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.

The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."

"You should tell your parents," I replied back.

The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.

When a stranger keeps telling kids to kill themselves AKA the Stigg.

I can do a very good Michael Jackson impersonation. I just need a kid who can keep a secret.

If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.

Now why an office supply keep rape videos, to make sure it was on tape?

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.

Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.

I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"

Me at the Oscars when I see Jada Pinkett Smith, I said: "G.I. Jane 2, more like G.I. Jada 2, can't wait to see it."

So Will Smith is laughing and then suddenly, Will Smith walks up to me and punches me in the face.

Me: "Ow, oh, wow. Will Smith just smacked the shit out of me.” My nigga Smith goes: "KEEP MY WIFE'S NAME OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" Me: "Maybe you should focus on keeping her friends out of hers."

Random person: We are taking away your freedoms to keep you safe.

Hitla: That's exactly what I said.

In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.

Sound familiar? 🤔

Well, in September 11th...

Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?

Because they keep cutting in line.

Did you hear that nursing homes keep returning the new Paul Walkers?

They let the elderly move fast, but then burst into flames and burn the patients alive.

Scratches on an icy road and kills 50 people on the bus, and when they get to Heaven, God feels so bad for them and grants them all one wish.

The first lady in the line was always worried about her looks, so she wished to be beautiful, and the guy behind her couldn’t think of what to wish about, so he also wished to be beautiful. This kept on going, but the guy at the end of the line started to laugh. When he got to God, God says, “What is your one wish, my son?” He said, “I wish you can make them all ugly again.”

Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.