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Keep jokes

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch some chips and sweets.

No, he can't keep his heart rate down, and she's got diabetes.

Holy fucking shit, Addison, watersharky, Gwen, and all of you other cringelords, I swear to God if I hear one more thing about "please be kind, no bullying on the internet," I will actually shoot my local school.

You may not know, since you are only 8 years old or whatever, but the world is not kind. It’s full of sick people out to beat others, and the only way to stay safe is to beat them. So even if you think you are spreading kindness, it’s just gonna make you a target. So just stfu and keep your "please be kind" messages to yourselves.

Why are orphans bad at basketball?

They haven't learned how to keep the ball with them.

How many skinny people can fit in a tub? I don't know; they keep slipping down the drain.

Yo mama so UGLY... at the strip club... people pay her... to keep her clothes ON!!!

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

Why do more men than women support abortion? So they can keep raping women and the victims will just abort their kids to not have to relive the experience!

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    • A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

    When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

    The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

    Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

    God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

    When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.

    He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.

    Fall coming 🍁 grab you a hoodie & sum1's thick thigh baby mama to keep you warm 😌🍂

    Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

    Oooh, I fall apart. Oooh, yeah, mmhmm. She told me that I'm not enough, yeah, And she left me with a broken heart, yeah. She fooled me twice and it's all my fault, yeah. She cut too deep, now she left me scarred, yeah. Now there's too many thoughts goin' through my brain, yeah, And now I'm takin' these shots like it's Novocaine, yeah. Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Never caught a feelin' this hard Harder than the liquor I pour Tell me you don't want me no more But I can't let go Everybody told me so Feelin' like I sold my soul Devil in the form of a whore Devil in the form of a whore You said it No, you said it No, you said it We'd be together Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought Ice keep pourin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' Covered in scars and I can't help showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin' Ice keep droppin' and the drink keep flowin' Try to brush it off but it keep on goin' All these scars, can't help from showin' Whippin' in the foreign and the tears keep blowin', yeah Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, I fall apart Down to my core Oooh, didn't know it before Surprised when you caught me off guard All this damn jewelry I bought You was my shorty, I thought.

    To all those who say this is a joke, it isn't. It's a core of humor and magic. It's a part of humor we can keep. Like if you agree.