New Jump Jokes - Page 13 - Worst Jokes Ever

Little Johnny was sitting in class, and he was behind a girl called Sally. The teacher asks the class, "Who created the Earth?" And Little Johnny pokes Sally in the back with his sharpened pencil, and she jumps and says, "MY GOD!" And the teacher says, "Yes, Sally, God did create the Earth." Sally sits down.

Then, the teacher asks, "Where do you go after you live a good life?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally again, and she jumps up and says, "HEAVENS TO BETSY!" And the teacher says, "Yes Sally. You will go to heaven after you live a good life." Sally sits down, knowing full well Little Johnny was poking her. Sally gave Little Johnny an angry glare, and she turns around.

And then, the teacher asks the class, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 77th child?" and Little Johnny pokes Sally HARDER this time in the back, and Sally jumps, turns around and says, "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I swear I'm gonna lose it!" And the teacher faints.

I was walking in the forrest with my gf I had a desert eagle for protection A bear jumped out of the bushes one shot was enough to put my gf down and it gave me enough time to run away

Once there was a midget man jumping on a pothole saying 43,43,43. A kid walks up to the man and says “why are you saying 43,43,43”. The man stops and looks at him then he starts jumping again and says 43,43,43. The kid asked him again and so on. Then the man stops opens the pothole throws the kid in, closed the starts jumping in says 44,44,44!!!

How do you communicate too the dead? Jump up and down on the ground and speak in morse code

"White people can't jump"...

"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."

I did a bungee jump for charity recently. It was called "spastics on elastics."

I decided to make to a charity bungee jump for the local disabled it's called spastics on elastics

A hot girls wants to do suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly smelly homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says "hey you hot babe, let's fuck. She just answers "get the fuck away you ugly bastard". The guy just laughs and says "alright i wait down there".

Why did the cliff feel offended? Because George jumped OFF. ENDED his life. (I'm sorry...No I'm not)

Q : What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?

A : I can jump on my bed. A : And I use a pillow on both of them.

friend 1: I don't want to jump. friend 2: me neither .murderer: if you don't jump ill stab you. friend 1: jumps. friend 2: jumps. murderer. i didn't mean off the building friend 1: I know that i just pretended to jump to get rid of that guy

What did the kangaroo 🦘 bring to the cook out?

A jump rope!

Kat what I did a cat jump over the road because he believes he came flying in the clouds Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah Hah so funniest kitten kitten kitten kidding is my last time ofDo you Joooooooooooooooooooooookin

YO MAMA SO FAT, NASA USED HER STOMACH TO JUMP TO URANUS IN SECONDS . 🍐🍆

Which way did the cow jump over the moon? - The MILKY way!!!

What did the cookie say when he jumped off the cliff? Crumbs ha ha!

your forhead is so big you can jump without getting hurt

Chesley, in horror, runs out of the cockpit of the plane coming from London, "I'm so very sorry everyone, I punch the wrong buttons and we are heading to DC instead of New York and we are about to run out of fuel. He opens the door and turns around to the five passengers and exclaimed, "I've parachutes but miscounted. We only got four for the passengers." He jumps off.

Donald faced the other four and orders:

"I'm the greatest leader of the world and I'll make the decision. Tony you go first, our country needs you. The whole wide world needs you. Pandemic is raging." Tony jumps off.

Francis,my friend, you go next, pandemic is ravaging the mind and body of millions. Their soul needs saving. Save Vladimir's and Xi's for me." Francis jumps off.

Hillary faced faced Donald furiously. "Who are you to make decisions for us? I should have been president. I'm the smartest woman in the whole world in history." Hillary jumps off.

Donald gazed at the young woman and started talking: "I'm an old man. I have already lived a full life - beautiful wives, children just a beautiful life. Just beautiful. I've become president of the most powerful country, the most beautiful, the richest. Regrets? I've made a few but did it my way. Greta, go on. Your future is bright. I just wish I can make my country great again and have the chance to help save the world with you. I believe in second chances. Look at my bankruptcies, believe me. And I wish I've played more golf and ......"

Greta interrjected, "Just shut the f* up. The plane is about to crash. Let's go and save the world. The smartest woman in history took my backpack!"

Jay and Andrew, are best friends whom are almost alike, the difference between them both is Jay is poor and well...Andrew on the other hand is suck-a-dick-poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes-up in his room, walks to the kitchen and asks his mom Lisa (I call her Lisa now btw) if there is anything to eat, "No bitch !" She replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed. Now Andrew...wakes-up jumps out of bed and he's in the kitchen, he sees his mom fixing some for work, after a long hard night of giving her husband blue-balls, "Anything left for me Mother?" Andrew asks "Sorry Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work taking her time * Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself "Man...I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if u do my first customer for me!!! "