Jump jokes
I was high in high school, but not as high as the people jumping from the buildings.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Robin! Jump in the Batmobile."
Who said white people can't jump?
Look at the footage from 9/11.
How do you get an emo kid to jump?
A bridge.
An emo girl jumped out of a tree at the same time a feather fell to the ground... What hit the ground first?
The feather, the girl was stopped by a rope.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
My sister’s birthday is on 9/11. When she opened her presents, she jumped up with an explosion.
Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"
Kid: "A leopard."
Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."
Kid: "Broooooooooooo."
What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?
I can't jump off a burrito.
What's the depressed person's favorite song?
Van Halen - Jump
Was invited to the inauguration of an I-pad.
We were all ready to begin the event. I was supposed to cut the ribbons, but before I could do that, Penaldo jumped outta nowhere and shouted, "I DON'T WANT I-PAD, I ONLY WANT TO STATPAD!"
Shame on Penaldo for ruining the event! 😡
What do the Twin Towers and school have in common?
People jumped off a building to escape it.
What do a bungee jump and a hooker have in common?
They’re both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you’re pretty much screwed.
Why do emos love jumping in water?
Because it involves a rope.
A man is driving down the road and runs over a rabbit. He slams on his brakes, gets out, and walks up to the flattened bunny. The bunny is obviously expired.
A passing car slams on its brakes and screeches to a halt. The driver of that car runs up to the bunny, pulls out an aerosol can, and sprays the bunny with the aerosol spray. The bunny jumps up, runs a few feet, then stops, turns around, and waves its paw at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. Runs away a few more feet, stops, turns around, and waves at the two men. He continues to do this until he’s out of sight.
The first driver looks at the man with the aerosol can and says, “Wow, that is amazing! What is in that can?” The man looks at the can and reads the label, “Hair restorer, with a permanent wave.”
If an emo kid jumps off a building, who would win?
Society.
I have a Twin Towers model in my room.
It got infested with jumping spiders.
You know why women wear tampons?
So the crabs could bungee jump!
I love jumping off cliffs.
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who would hit the ground first?
The brunette, because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions!