Joke

Joke jokes

Difference

What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?

One's a good year and one's a great year.

Difference

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

Blind

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

Dog

Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?

A: A Chihuahua.

Wheelchair

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue, that joke is old, just like you.

Egg

What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?

He cracked up!

Orphan

What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?

I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.

Paint

This is an inside joke for my friend Caiden...

"Hey, where’d you get that paint from?" "Ha! Paint!"

Emo

What's an emo's favorite way of growing food?

The slash and burn tactic.

Dad

Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.

Best pilot of Southern Arabia

Allahu Akbar.

Workout

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Sans

Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?

Because a SANSET is happening.