Joke jokes

Why do you go to the bank?

To get money.

When do you run from the bank?

When the cops come.

I look at your bro.

And all I can see is the real definition of *"Lack of Grace!"*

I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.

Fence 1 was thinking and Fence 2 said, "Are you still on the fence about running away?"

Fence 1 said, "Yeah, I was thinking of running on the RAILROAD."

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?

"Here's the beef of the week!"

Humor is like skin; the darker it gets, the less people like it.

I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.

Why do farts smell?

So deaf people can enjoy them as well.

What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?

For me, life.

Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?

What do Call of Duty players say when they shoot up a school?

654-721-8940

(If you understand the joke, you're a god.)

What does a kite and a criminal have in common?

They both get high.

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it always comes back.

A bat mitzvah for sheep is a baaaaaat mitzvah!

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?

Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...

The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them:

"Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"

Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)

I like my girls like my file systems...

FAT and 16.