Joke jokes
Short girl: "How do you see up there?"
Tall guy: "Who said that?"
I spit my drink out and then ran away.
I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
When you think you're depressed, but you know you're probably just using depression to be lazy and self-loathing, but then you realize that it, in itself, might actually be a symptom of depression.
Well gang, it looks like we've got another mystery on our hands!
I'd make a masturbation joke.
But they always get out of hand.
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.
What's pink and rusty? Madeline McCann's bike.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It’s not like they can tell their parents.