Joke jokes
My wife and I have made a difficult choice and have decided we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.
I don't like calculator jokes because they are too overused.
What do you tell a suicidal person when they complain about their problems to you?
Just hang in there, man.
Two friends were hanging out with each other next to a tree.
Too bad only one was standing. :)
Why do orphans go to church?
So they finally have someone to call father.
What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Why did the squirrel swim on his back?
To keep his nuts dry.
How's your dad?
What? I forgot he's still sleeping.
Why do trees never call Emos? Because they always hang up on them.
How do you get an emo down from a tree?
Cut the rope!
What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.
What's the difference between Clark Kent and chicken noodle?
One is Super. The other is just soup.
Me: Wanna hear a joke?
Person: Sure.
Me: Never mind, I was gonna say my life, but my life isn't a joke! Jokes have meaning.
Person: Dear God...
Why does the orphan kid eat cereal with water?
Because his dad hasn’t come back with the milk yet.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
I wonder if any of these people are still alive.
Anyways,
When I arrived at the pearly gates when I died, the guardian asked me how I died. I told him I was just hanging around.
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
I heard life was a gift. Well, I hope they kept the receipt, because I'd like a mother-fucking refund!
A guy asks his priest friend what he wants to eat, and the priest says "bad boys." Then his friend asks, "What kebab do you want?" and the priest says, "B Bricked up Caucasian or Asian will do."