Joke jokes
Actually, it isn't a bear joke, but bear with me here...
How many times does 47 fit into 9?
Get in the van and find out.
This guy is boiling water. The girl walks in and says, “What are you doing?” The guy says, “I’m making Holy Water.” She said, “How?” He said, “I’m boiling the hell out of it.”
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the retard's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What is it called when a bull lies about other bulls?
Bullying.
Hey guys, Billy has this weird disability where when he has sex with someone, he says their name really loud.
Billy: Hey guys, I just got back from my DADS!!
Wait, what Billy?
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
Three nuns died in a car crash. They went up to heaven at the pearly gates. The gatekeeper said, "This really should not have happened, so I am going to send you back to earth as different people. Tell me who you want to be or look like." The first nun said, "I want to look like Madonna." Puff, you look like her now, but you can’t use her name. And sent her down to earth. The second one said, "I want to look like Marilyn Monroe." He then makes her look like her and sends her down to earth. The third nun said, "I want to look like Sarah Pipalini." The gatekeeper says to her, "Sarah Pipalini, who is that?" She gives the gatekeeper a newspaper article. He reads it, shakes his head no, and says, "It’s not Sarah Pipalini, it's Sahara pipeline laid by 500 men."
What's long, brown, and sticky?
A stick.
One day a computer said to another computer, "Why are you so dumb?"
The other computer replied, "Because I have low memory."
If you ever get bored, tell an orphan to take two days off their calendar. If they ask why, say, "Because you're missing Father's Day and Mother's Day."
What did the Arch bridge say to the Truss bridge?
"I Truss-ted you!"
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde girl?
One stops sucking when you smack it.
It’s like going to the orphan and telling your mama jokes.