How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
Joke Jokes
Dark humor is like water. Some people get it, some people don't.
Rules of Dark humor:
1. All subject matter can be used, nothing is off limits.
2. No saying "Me" or "My Life" as a joke. Nobody finds those funny. We want actual good and meaningful jokes.
3. Don't Repeat Previously Posted Jokes. If you are saying the same joke that the person right before you posted you are just begging for attention and nobody by any means likes that.
I will add more in the future and be frequent on this site.
- Sincerely, Zane
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
If you get pinched by a man in a wheelchair, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
I know five fat people, and you're three of them.
What's worse than five dead babies in one garbage can?
- One dead baby in five garbage cans.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help me understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So, me with my horrible humor, decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around, and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are, a fine African meal." Then everybody looked at me in disappointment, and then I continued to say, "What? Poor taste?"
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
A man walks into a zoo. The only animal was a dog.
It was a shih tzu.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon."
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, “Hey mister, it’s getting really dark and I’m scared.” The man replies, “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
