call me willma, willma balls fit ya mouth!!
My mother wanted to test my responsibility and wanted me to cook dinner for the family to help mean understand how it feels to constantly cook for a whole family. So me with my horrible humor decided to make a giant joke for when dinner time came around and so I just got four plates and set them in front of my family and I then said, "Here you are a fine African meal." then everybody looked at me in disappointment and then I continued to say, "what poor taste?"
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat miner.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? BONE appetit. His whole family found that HUMERUS.
I know five fat people and you're three of them
Of a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment....
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What's worse than locking your keyes in the car in front of an abortion clinic?
Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.
What's red and green and go's 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender....
i have a stepladder. my real ladder left for milk and never came back.
I recently was told by my therapist to stop with the suicide jokes. So I replied with "Don't worry, it will all end soon"
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
A man walks into a zoo, the only animal was a dog.
It was a shitzu
What do you call an asian kid who's bad at math?
An orphan
so two condoms walk by a gay bar, what does one condom say to the other, "hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
Hey Siri, where is my dad? Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen! Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas. ...WhAT-
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout
Because every time they scan it scans twice.
What’s Bin Laden’s favourite drink? Double Manhattan.
Why did the blind man fall down the well?
He couldn't see that well.
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
