Joke jokes
What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?
Answer: He was left there hanging.
How come an orphan can't work for SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Did you?
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
What do you call a train that likes toffee?
A chew-chew train.
What do you call a lady with a pyramid on her head?
mummy
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
If someone with a lisp dropped a hammer on their foot, would they be Thor?
Q: What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium?
A: HeHe.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.