Joke jokes
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
The worst comedians take 9 months to make a joke. Then they spend the rest of their lives trying to forget it.
I went to a birthday party and told dad jokes.
The jokes didn't go over well. I was asked to leave the orphanage.