Joke jokes
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
They say I’m sliced like the apples in a kids meal.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Dishes."
"Dishes who?"
"Dishes a bad joke."
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.