Joke jokes
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
My sister said to roast her, but my mom said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
Jokes are like Indians.
They never die, they just get reincarnated.
Scientists say a banana a day is great for the colon.
But you gotta eat it!
Me: Do you eat your cereal with water? You: No, why? Me: 'Cause your dad never came back with the milk!
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.
My mother-in-law would have been on one of the planes that crashed on 9/11.
Had I known in advance, I would have bought her the ticket.
What’s the Difference Between a Cat and a Comma?
One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
What is the difference between a cow and 9/11?
You can’t milk a cow for 15 years.
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
Friend: Hey, wanna race home?
Orphan: What home?