Joke jokes
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
Did you?
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Susan. Susan who? Season your chicken, it's too plain!
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
What do you call a man that has no arms, no legs, and sits in front of your door? Mat.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Today I told my sis, "Knock knock."
She said, "Who's there?"
I said, "I Eat eat my mop."
She said, "I eat mop poo instead of who."
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
What do you call a fart in a gay bar?
A mating call.
I asked my friend what the best gay joke is, and she said "You."
Why did the emo swallow an alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What did the blind kid say after touching the emo kid’s hand?
“I ain’t reading all that.”
Two terrorists walk into a bar.
The bartender asks what they are talking about. Terrorist 1 says, "We are going to kill 14k people and a donkey."
The Bartender asks, "Why a donkey?"
Then Terrorist 2 says, "See, I told you no one would care about the 14k people."