Joke

Joke jokes

Internet

Does anyone still look at this? If you do, tell me if I should make more jokes :)

Suicide

My mom asked me to stop making jokes about suicide.

I answered, "Don't worry... I'll stop soon."

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  • Morbid humor

    What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? Dark humor would be saying, "ten babies in one trashcan." Morbid humor would be saying, "one baby in ten trashcans."

    Orphan

    New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."

    Students: "OOF!"

    Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"

    Students: "Your parents!"

    Memes

    Fire

    Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.

    Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    Milkman

    A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is okay to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.

    Rope

    What did the rope say to me?

    "Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

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  • Hunter

    Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

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  • Orphan

    Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.

    Coconut

    My sister thinks she's so smart. She said, "Onions are the only food that makes you cry." So I threw a coconut at her.

    Susie

    Why did Susie fall off the swing?

    Because she didn't have any arms.

    Knock knock.

    Who's there?

    Not Susie.

    Lamborghini

    What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?

    I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

    911

    All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.

    Parent

    So, my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.

    Covid

    I got kicked out of a hospital once. I told all the COVID patients to stay positive.

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  • Guy

    So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.

    Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"

    Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

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