New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "OOF"
Teacher: "Is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents."
Does anyone still look at this if you do tell me if I should make more jokes :)
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.
Who needs April fools..
When your whole life is a joke?
Whats a depressed persons favorite drink Depresso expresso Jk bleach
What did the rope say to me?
"hey there man, you wanna hang later?"
Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead bodies?
I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.
All these jokes are plane wrong. My uncle died in 911. At least he died doing what he loved, flying planes.
So my parents were telling me about this dark joke they made 17 years ago, but they didn't actually tell me the joke.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy “hey mister its getting dark out and I’m scared” Man “how do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone”