Knock knock Whos there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you would never forget
I asked my girlfriend if he wanted to join my family tree... She dropped the rope and ran
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger
What do you call it when a midget waves at you? A microwave
Girls are like math if there under ten then you use your fingers
Teacher: Johnny can you use a sentence with definitely in it Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them Teacher: of cause not Johnny Little Johnny: then I’ve definitely shat myself
It must be not a good suicide story if you can tell it.
I tried to get my bloood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside
A wife and husband was setting up their computer and the husband makes the password my dick, but the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What do you call a autism kid with a gun?
Special forces
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
what's the cool thing about bringing a pack of gum or a shotgun to school.
when you pull one out everybody wants to be your friend. :)
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
What’s the difference between Steven Hawking and the Statue of Liberty, the statue stands for something
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! Thats not going to help!" She said. "Sure it does." he said. "Its the only way i can see the numbers."
