Joke jokes

A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”

Anyone else on here looking at depressing jokes to make themselves feel better? Not that it's working, but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Well, enough with the sob story, I gotta go get my razors. See ya in the long run.

Let's make a joke on how depressing Monday is to ignore how depressing everyday is.

Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.

Person B: Over my dead body.

Person B: *gets the noose*

911 jokes are just plane wrong, my dad was a great pilot you know.

This joke probably flew over people's heads, but for some people it flew into their head.

What’s the difference between an emo and grass? The grass doesn’t cut itself :D

Say all you want about priests, but at least they drive slowly in school zones.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."

"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

A boy walks in on his mother riding his father. "What are you doing?" the boy asks his mother. "I'm jumping on daddy to make him thin," said the mother. "Don't bother," said the boy, "when you go shopping, the lady next door comes and blows him up again."

So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

What do milk and Make-A-Wish kids have in common? They both have expiration dates.

It’s sad because with all these mean jokes Stephen hawkings can’t even Stand up for himself

Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

A girl noticed hair growing between her legs and asked her mom about it. Her mom said it was her monkey and it grows hair. So, she told her sister, and her sister said that ain't nothing, mine's already eating bananas.

I don't like it when people make 9/11 jokes. My dad was in it.

He was the best damn pilot in Saudi Arabia.

What's the difference between an emo kid and a pack of Oreos? The bar code on the emo kid gets longer every day.

All my jokes are cries for help.

INCLUDING THIS ONE.

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.