Joke

Joke jokes

Dark Humor

Do you have dark humor?

Actually, never mind. I was going to tell you a joke about babies dying... but I decided to abort.

Bellybutton

Little Johnny went on a camping trip. All the tents were taken, so he shared with the teacher. So Little Johnny says: "Can I play with your bellybutton? My mom always lets me when we camp." So the teacher says: "Sure." 5 minutes later the teacher says: "Woah, woah, woah that's not my bellybutton!" Little Johnny says: "Woah, woah, woah, that's not my finger."

Memes

Dad

Aunt: Stop telling the kids Santa isn't real.

Me: Stop telling them their dad is going to get milk.

  • 2
  • Condom

    What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One’s a Goodyear. The other’s a great year.

  • 3
  • Wife

    Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

    Pedophile

    My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”

  • 6
  • Pilot

    Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.

    Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

    Super glue

    A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Salesman: “Can I see your dad?” Johnny: “No, he’s in the shower.” Salesman: “What about your mother? Can I see her?” Johnny: “Nope. She’s in the shower, too.” Salesman: “Do you think they’ll be out soon?” Johnny: “Doubt it. When my dad asked me for the Vaseline, I gave him super glue instead.”

    Orphan

    "Come on, man, give the orphans a break with these jokes."

    "No, not until their parents pick them up."

  • 9
  • Future

    My future is so bright, I need a flashlight to see where I'm going.

  • 8
  • Double Entendre

    A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."