At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
Joke Jokes
Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!
Ok, I found this off of an internet meme, this isn't original:
*grabbing kid* Harambe: Ok kid, I don't have much time, but Obama's last name is- *gunshot*
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
It's not rape if you're both crying.
What is the difference between a dead baby and an orphan?
The dead baby happened on purpose while the orphan came out as an accident!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."
What did the fat man say as he entered Nagasaki?
Nothing, he just exploded.
My wife left a note on the fridge. The note read, "It's not working." I don't know what she's talking about. I opened the fridge, and it worked fine!
Orphan jokes? They protest.
How do you get a country girl's attention? A tractor.
Why do orphans hate milk? Cause their family is still shopping for it!
You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.
Does it cycle now? 🚲
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What is the poorest country in the world?
Poortugal...
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do you do when you run out of lines on your book?
You look at the emo girl and say, "Hey, can I borrow your arm?"
I would tell a joke about Kobe, but it wouldn’t really land well.
