Joke jokes
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What do you call an orphan who grows up and becomes a priest?
Father Les.
What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?
O I C U R M T
Lol, I have no life :)
Ahem... if somebody you don't like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this:
"Hello, thank you for choosing Mama's Pizzeria/Abortion Clinic, your loss is our sauce, how may I help you?"
or
"Hello, this is David's Orphanage, you make them, we take them, how may I help you?"
Some people's reactions are priceless, and then they wonder about your mental health.
Women are like marshmallows because they are white, squashy, and we put our sticks inside you.
The F in "I'm orphan" stands for family.
But there is no F.
Me, trying to interact with people: “Hey, are you a rope? Because I really wanna HANG with you.”
Person I’m talking to: *Pulling out phone to call suicide hotline* “haha what.”
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
My life :(
What does a depressed person and a fashion enthusiast have in common?
They both have something hanging in their closet.
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.
"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.
"I'm going down to give blood."
"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"
"About $30."
"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."
The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.
"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"
"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?
“I like big nuts and I cannot lie!”
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
What does the hare say to the other hare? You look nice with your hare cut!
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
What did Hitler say to the sheep, "Baaarrrrrrr!" Hahaha, get it, sister? Am I rightttt?
What's the best way to get a man to confess to a rape?
Ask him to tell a rape joke.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
MVP means: “Most Valuable Player.”
In Chuck Norris' case: “Most Vaginas Penetrated”.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.