Joke

Joke jokes

Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!

Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!

Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!

Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!

What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”

How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!

What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

Guys, stop making funny jokes of orphans. What, their parents are gonna get mad? Oh wait, continue.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

A dragon.

A dragon who?

The dragon gonna drag its balls across your face.

Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid.

Their favorite joke is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. Little Johnny always takes the nickel.

One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, “Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Don’t you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel’s bigger?”

Johnny grins and says, “Well, if I took the dime, they’d stop doing it, and so far I’ve made $20!”

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because their dad never came home with the milk.

Man, I love telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?