Joke jokes
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.
Be smart, not stupid.
Q: What is a lesbian's version of a cock block?
A: A beaver dam.
I'm autistic, and I find these so funny.
Why do orphans eat water with their cereal? Because their father never came home with milk.
Tell the person next to you to spell "me." When they do, say, "You forgot the D." They should respond with, "There is no D in ME." You say, "Not yet." If this does not go as planned, well, then you are fucked for life.
Hey, you there, were you raised on a chicken farm? 'Cause you really know how to raise a cock!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
How do you find someone's hairline? It's simple, you don't.
What is the difference between an orphan and cotton candy?
Answer: The cotton candy gets picked.
I saw this kid who looked depressed, so I threw a torch at him. I thought I would brighten up his day.