Joke jokes

What do you call an Asian telephone?

Ling Ling.

What's the most illegal activity in Africa?

Watering the plants.

What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?

They both can't see their parents.

Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!

Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!

I got suspended for telling the emo kid to hang in there.

Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?

Because their dad never came back with milk.

Imagine a white van. Now imagine a white guy in the driver seat with a sombrero on and his arm out the window, and on the side of the van it says "Free Candy." But there's blood all over the van and a dead clown in the back.

You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”

I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?

Harry made it out of the chamber.

Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.

Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍

My joke is:

My life.

Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?

Because the joke needs parental guidance.

I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.

What did one depressed kid say to the other?

Hey, wanna hang together?

What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?

Any ideas?

SHIT!!!!

What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.

What does LMAO stand for?

Launching Moms At Orphans.