I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
Joke Jokes
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
Whatâs the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emoâs barcode gets longer every day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Why can't orphans play baseball? They donât know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: Iâm going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because Iâm a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? Itâs not like they can tell their parents.
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They canât see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they donât know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
I told a crippled guy he is immortal because he can't kick the bucket.
Iâm in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Holy shit there's so many yo mama jokes. Here's mine: Yo mama so skinny she used a cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo mama so fat that she made a plane unstable and crashed it into the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old that she has Jesus's autograph.
Yo mama so ugly that not even makeup can save her.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Rocket League was a competition between kids in wheelchairs.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what itâs like to be Wanted.
Why are orphans bad at poker? They donât know what a full house is.
I saw a child crying yesterday, so I asked him where his parents were. Bad move. I got fired from my job at the orphanage.
What do you call an orphanâs family reunion? Me time.
Did you know? The letter âfâ in orphan stands for family.
What is an orphanâs least favorite song? "We are Family."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite TV show? "Family Guy."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite movie? "Meet the Parents."
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite type of music? House.
Next: Inappropriate Jokes
Whatâs an orphanâs least favorite store? Home Depot.
Whatâs an orphanâs favorite band? Foster the People.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Where do orphan chickens end up? Foster Farms.
What beer do orphans drink? Fosterâs.
Why do orphans have water with their cereal? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call a fish with no parents? An orfin.
Why do orphans like playing tennis? Because itâs the only love they get.
Me: Are you an orphan? Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Yo momma's like a cloud, when she disappears, it's a beautiful sunny day.
The earth used to be flat until your mama was buried.
What animal can jump the highest?
Emo kids because once they go up they never come back.
