Joke jokes
Yo mama is so ugly, her pictures hang themselves.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.