Joke jokes
You have a problem with jokes about dementia? That's funny, I don't remember asking.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, “Does anyone know CPR?!”
I yelled, “I know the entire alphabet!”, and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person, he didn't hear the joke.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.
Guess who came crawling back? Sadly, the hardest part to eat of the vegetable is the wheelchair.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
Hi guys, I am Logan Taub the toad. I just want to say that my cock is so, so, so tiny. It could fit 50 times in the crack of my butt chin!!!!! Also, I am trans👍
My joke is:
My life.
Why do we never make adult jokes in front of orphans?
Because the joke needs parental guidance.
I was going to tell a joke I made up about my vacuum cleaner, but it sucks.
What did one depressed kid say to the other?
Hey, wanna hang together?
What comes in and comes out, but you should never miss it?
Any ideas?
SHIT!!!!
What’s the difference between an emo and a pack of Oreos? The emo’s barcode gets longer every day.
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
Me: Hey, are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave me away?
Me: Your parents.
The lines on the pride flag are straighter than me.
You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.
What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?
No seriously, what is it?
Why can't orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
I made a website for orphans, but it doesn't have a home page.
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away. Orphan: But why? Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
Why do orphans like boomerangs? Cause they come back.
Why do orphans become criminals? To know what it’s like to be wanted.
Girls are like rocks; the flat ones get skipped.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite TV show? Family Guy.
If you hit an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
If you hit an orphan with a car, at least you don't have to tell their parents.
Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.
What does an orphan call a family photo? A selfie.
Why was the orphan a big success? Cause people say go big or go home, he only had one option.
Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite store? Home Depot.
What do orphans and blind kids have in common? They can’t see their parents.
Why can't orphans hear about ancient Egypt? Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
Friend: "UR LIT BRO!!"
Me: "That's what my sleeve said to my arm."
What did I say to the bridge?
Bye, bridge.