Joke jokes
I had to go to the doctor for a prostate exam. When he stuck it in, I started to squirm, so he held onto my shoulder.
I thought it was going well, until he grabbed my other shoulder as well.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?
With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.
Why do orphans go to church?
It's the only place where they can call someone "father."
What's black and white and read all over?
A newspaper.
What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?
A penguin falling down the stairs.
My Italian chef friend died last week. He pasta away.
I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.
So the other day my black friend and I were working on a group project. He was so slow so I whipped him to make him faster.
What's the best thing about an abortion joke??
No one gets offended.
Horrible Jokes, Part One- A friend of mine got into photographing salmon in different clothing. He said he liked shooting fish in apparel.
What did the South tower get instead of pepperoni pizza?
It got a bunch of plane.
Why was 8 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a 6 offender.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
A selfie.
What do you call a useless piece of **** on a cock?
A: A man!
What do you call a swimmer from Iraq?
A bath bomb.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH