Joke jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
Why was the orphan stupid?
Because his parents couldn't guide him.
What do you call a nosy Mexican?
That's nacho business.
Dad: Son, everyone in your class got COVID.
Son (in a happy tone): I know.
Dad: How do you know and why are you so glad?
Son: Well, yesterday you told me to spread positivity.
Q: Why did the orphan cross the road?
A: To get to the other side to find his parents.
There was no other side of the road.
What do you call a living Panera Bread?
Panera Breath.
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
I asked my kid to give me a hand. That motherfucker cried while charging his mechanical arm.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Wanna hear a joke about paper?
Never mind, it's tearable.
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Hear the one about the deaf kid?
He didn't.
My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.
“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”
I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.
Found out I’m worth $3.97.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Who did the cow want to hang with?
The udders.
"Self harm jokes aren't that deep."
There was this emo kid giving a high five to a tree... but the tree left them hanging :)
What can’t a person with no arms do: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"