Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
Joke Jokes
What do you call a cow jumping over barbed wire? Utter destruction.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
'Cause 7 was a 6 offender.
Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.
What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a red Ferrari in my car.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
How do you get 100 Pikachus on a bus?
- Pokémon
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
So, a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
Boy: "Hey mister, it's getting dark out and I'm scared!"
Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"
Two pedophiles meet each other. Then one asks if he wanted to trade "2 of 5" for "1 of 10?"
"Can I tell you a paper joke?" I said, "But it is pretty terrible."
What's red and screams when you shake it?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!