What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
Joke Jokes
Why can't Sally hit herself? Because she has no arms.
Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
Me, a Chinese woman, and her BFF walked into a bar. I asked the Chinese girl for her number. She said, “Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!” I said, “Wow!”
Then her friend said, “She means 666-3629.”
What do you call a Roman with hair in his teeth?
A "glad-he-ate-her".
Q: Where do you find a quadriplegic?
A: Right where you left 'em.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
Q: What did the iceberg say to the Titanic?
A: I'd hit that.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.
So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"
The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."
So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."
When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"
The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."
Why are mountains so funny? Because they are so high!
Guy spills milk on me. I say, "It's okay, we all make mistakes sometimes, but apparently your mom made a big one."
Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "A bad joke."
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
What do you call a retard in a house fire?
Flame Retardant.
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
It didn't; it got stuck in a crack.
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Have you heard about the animal that was made of a human hand?
It's an ARMadillo.