What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
Joke Jokes
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite genre of music? Rock and roll.
How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?
She closes the car door.
Why did Hitler get hit by a baseball?
Because he did nazi it coming!
Stephen Hawking had pins and needles and got told to walk it off.
How did the Scottish man find the sheep in the tall grass?
Satisfying.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
You want to hear a joke about pizza?
Sorry! Can't tell ya, it's too cheesy!
What kind of file turns a 5mm hole into a 3cm hole?
A pedo-file.
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
No, you!
A man broke into Stevie Wonder's house and threatened to kill his wife.
He just turned a blind eye.
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror.
We never met again.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick, the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital, hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why did Aaron's dad beat him? Because he tensed his ass.
Why did Adam commit suicide? Andy went through the back door.
More like so they can fuck him, am I right?
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
Yeah, neither has he!