Joke jokes
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Cheesiest jokes.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.