What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
Joke Jokes
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
Cheesiest jokes.
What did Hitler tell the eye doctor?
“I can na-zi.”
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
Why did the chicken cross to the U.S. from Mexico?
To get to the U.S., but he had to show his papers first.
What's a pig's favorite ballet?
Swine Lake.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
Q: What's black, white, and Asian?
A: A panda!