Joke jokes
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
Why did Paul Walker cross the street?
Because he wasn't wearing his seatbelt.
Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
What did the computer say to the other computer? “Well, tech-ically we can’t talk.”
I was reading a book about gravity. It was so hard to put down!
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
Q. Two gay guys are having sex, when suddenly the house catches fire. Who gets out of the house first, the guy on top or bottom?
A. The guy on the bottom because he already has his shit packed.
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!