Job

Job jokes

Ice Cream machine

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

Duck

Why was the duck fired from the train station?

He was a bad conducktor!

Family

People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?

Memes

Guy

How it be when the new guy takes too long...

Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.

Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.

Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.

Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.

Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.

Blow job

My sister told me she liked Medusa.

I said, "Huh?"

My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.

Plumber

I have a better version of this joke.

How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.

Orphanage

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. đŸ€Ș

Orphan

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

Promotion

What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!

Zookeeper

Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.

Wire

I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. đŸ˜‚đŸ€Ł

Mirror

I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.

Orphanage

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

Supermarket

Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?

He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.