Why is job good at minecraft because he is noob noob noob noob noob. NOOB
Dave got a new job at the suicide hotline. The manager shows him to his desk and Dave has a seat.
The manager says, "Remember! Your job is to make sure that the person at the other end of the line does not kill himself, no matter what! That's the one thing you have to do!"
Dave says "No problem! I will do exactly what you just told me!" and the manager leaves him to his job.
A few minutes, later Dave's phone rings.
"Hello?" Dave answers. No response for a few seconds, then a voice appears.
"My wife cheated on me." a man says. The man on the other end of the line is clearly depressed.
"I'm sorry to hear that." Dave says.
"I found out that she's been doing it for months; she says I don't treat her well enough. She's filing for divorce and threatening to take the kids from me. I don't know what to do. I just took up drinking and gambling, the pain goes away at first but it always comes back. I don't think I can even afford to see a psychiatrist; money is tight as it always is. I wish I could manage my finances better... I just don't see any way out. I think the only thing I can do that makes sense is to just kill myself."
Dave pauses for a moment, thinks, and then he asks:
"Wouldn't it make more sense to kill her?"
One day it was me & my sister in the house. My sister said to me let's order food I said we have no money. My sister said it's cool were just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store I know the delivery boy & he won't charge us. I said cool. The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some & ate mines in my room. I went back in the kitchen I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job I ask what are you doing. My sister replied back to me & you had your egg rolls let me enjoy mine. Then the delivery boy said don't no charge.
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious ?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am goona kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom we still need him who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna...-" Vortex: "You'll do what?" Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!" *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness* Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
What is the difference between a gay male who is not physically challenged giving a blowjob job to a gay male that is not physically challenged, and a gay male who is physically challenged giving a blowjob to a gay male who is not physically challenged? A gay male who is not physically challenged who receives a blowjob from a gay male who is physically challenged, would still not believe that the physically challenged male is gay because the gay male who is not physically challenged is the definition of a asshole
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then ask him can I have some your burrito he said yeah. I said whatever. A few minutes my mom told me to cut the lawn I said why do I have to do it that why he there for. My mom said he going to do the burrito for me then I said okay. I finish cutting the lawn I wen tin the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom what are you doing my mom said what does it look like. I having my burrito. The landscaper told me that I miss a spot while cutting the lawn.
As a son I was starting to do pranks. I told my mom’s boyfriend that she cheated on him, and she don’t want to be with him no more, and I told him that my mom said that he had a small penis. He left my mom, and she was mad at me. I thought it was funny. Then I told my friend girlfriend that he cheated on her with another girl, and the girl told me that my friend had a small penis. He found out, and wanted to co front me in my house. I wasn’t home. My friend told my mom what happen then my mom said the same thing happen to me. I came home one day I saw my mom giving my friend a blow job I ask what’s going on. My friend told your mom is my new girlfriend & my mom said this is the penis of my dreams.
IN THE MORNING AT 6:30 AM
Teacher : who fought in the world war I ME : Trump & Biden Teacher: Oh ok ..... well good job class see you tomorrow and study your books
AFTER SCHOOL
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing ''She looks at her clock'' Teacher : And now I am sewed
What is the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when a abled bodied gay male is receiving a anonymous blow job from a physically disabiled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area and perverted is when a abled bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabiled gay male to received a anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area
As a older brother I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room I see my sister giving married me blow jobs. I ask what are you doing the married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you tole me to do your best and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother I couldn't be more prouder.
Earnie and Burt were camping in the woods, when they woke up Burt asked Earnie "how did you sleep?" Earnie replied with "I slept amazing I had a great dream that I was in a magic candy world and was sucking the most tastiest lollipop I'd ever tasted in my life." Burt replied with "good to hear, I slept amazing too, I had a dream that I was in heaven surround by angels, and one of them was giving me a blow job."
One day I was going home, and 7 married men came to me and said you should be proud of your sister. I ask why they told me it was the best that they ever had and we got your sister a trophy. So I went home my sister said look at my trophy I earned. The trophy said The Best Blow Jobs. As a bro I couldn’t be more prouder.
My mom told me to get a job, so I did. One day my mom saw me I had money my mom ask me where did you get that money, my mom ask me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom ask me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the the guys some ans see you one by one and I get paid for it. My mom said your growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see in the shower.
I lost my job at a research facility,the people were too chill for me.
Lil Johnny's teacher wanted to play a alphabet game so she said what word starts with a lil johnny raised he hand fast but she know that he I would say ass so she picked on Sally and she said Apple and she said what word starts with b little johnny raised his hand as fast as he could but she knew that he would say something like bitch so she picked on Emmanuel and Emmanuel said banana so she went all the way to w Little Johnny raises hand as fast as he could again and the teacher thought of a cuss word that could start with the letter w she could not think of a cuss word that could start with w so she called on Little Johnny Little Johnny said wow the teacher said good job then Little Johnny said like wow too elephants fucking
When I was walking home, a couple of married guys was saying your mom is good at her job, but I realize my mom doesn't work. So I ask my mom why are these guys saying your good at your job, you don't work. My mom said yeah I got new job. So I said what do you do. My said job hand, no I mean is called a hand job
