Job jokes
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.
I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!
People always talk about starting families, what happened to finishing the job?
A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.
Memes
How it be when the new guy takes too long...
Hay Danny, it's me Johnny.
Johnny: Boss says to kill the guy in red. Point the gun at his head.
Danny: Ok, target locked. 3... 2... 1... bang.
Johnny: Danny, hope you did not get the man in red.
Danny: OH MY BRO FOR REALL.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. Thatâll definitely turn on the waterworks.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonaldâs.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. đ€Ș
What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?
The Home Depot.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
My career is worth more than your adoption.
Today was no fun. A rhino escaped from the zoo and ate two parents, and I lost my job as zookeeper.
I had a new "blonde parts expert" woman call for parts. I needed 2 ought wire for a job. She calls NAPA auto and asks for twat wire. The parts guy was assuming she didn't know about Planned Parenthood? .. đđ€Ł
Why is a waiter good at math?
Because he knows his TABLES! đ€Ł
I think I would like a job cleaning mirrors. It's just something I could really see myself doing.
So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.
Why'd Biden get fired from the supermarket?
He kept telling little kids they smell like freshly baked bread.