it's jokes

In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

A delivery service called “Ross Deliveries” was known to be the best in town. They never got anything wrong. One day, Rachelle got a delivery, but when it arrived, it was all broken! How is this possible?

I never said which delivery service she used. Lol.

How do men like their women? Striped.

How does a priest like their children? Clean.

Why are most orphans strippers? They want to call someone mommy or daddy.

What is the difference between a stripper and candy? None. But they like it when you take the wrapper off.

"Can I throw you away? You look like my trash can. Oh, wait, you *are* my trash can."

I decided that I'll end it all, but when I drove off, I remembered I forgot to do the dishes.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

What do you call a red potato?

A tomato. 🍅

(I know it's cringe!)

"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."

"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"

If you measured your hairline with a protractor, it would show 90 degrees.

What do you call it when a tranny commits suicide?

A good start.

What time is it when you walk home from school? Time to rest.

Your hairline's so far back, even Rosa Parks refused to sit in the back; it went all the way there itself.

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".

But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.

When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds?

Because it's the average class size.

What happens when a clock is hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.

But 10 was afraid, why? Because it was in between 9 and 11.