it's jokes
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there's a salad dressing.
How many babies does it take to light up a basement? I don't know, my basement is still dark.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
A war isn’t about who is right, it’s about who is left!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they all sit in the dark.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
A dog walked into a tavern and said, “I can’t see a thing. I’ll open this one.” The humor of it is probably related to the Sumer way of life (and has been lost), but the words remain.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
Why is the Leaning Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why the hell would I go to a shooting range when I could go to school and do it for free?
In the realm of words, I shall embark, To craft a verse, both bold and stark, Thomas Bulgin, a name that ignites, A tale of length and moist delights.
Free from the chains of structured rhyme, I wander through this realm, sublime, Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so strange, Evoking thoughts that rearrange.
Long, it stretches, like a winding road, Leading us to depths, yet to be bestowed, In syllables, it dances and it plays, A journey we embark, in myriad ways.
Moist, a word that teems with life, A touch of nature, amidst the strife, It whispers of raindrops on tender leaves, Of dew-kissed petals and gentle heaves.
Thomas Bulgin, a phrase so surreal, Unleashing emotions, that time cannot seal, In this short verse, I strive to convey, A glimpse of what these words might say.
So let us ponder, the mystery untold, Of Thomas Bulgin, both long and bold, For in the realm of poetry's sweet embrace, Even the unusual finds its rightful place.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
The sky never changes color, but when it does, we know how your breath is increasing.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
What do you call it when an orphan takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
A pregnant wife and her husband were in a hospital as she was in labor. The doctor suggested using a machine that transfers the birth pains from the mother to the father. They agree, so the machine is used. 40%, the husband feels nothing, 70% still not feeling anything, 100%, nothing.
The doctor says it must be broken. When the pair return home, the milkman is dead in the front yard.
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
It’s not. Numbers aren’t sentient and are therefore incapable of feeling fear.