it's jokes
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
You set it on fire; then it goes, "WOOF!"
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
When I was little, I would pray to Jesus every night for him to get me a new bike. I learned one week in Sunday school that that's not how it works, so instead I just stole one and asked him for forgiveness.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?
I hear it hurt like hell.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friend's pen. In the end, he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chicken's life.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
Jacob Wheet, if you don't understand, look it up.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.