it's jokes
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Never mind, it’s too long.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"
I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"
She said, "Why?"
I said, "'Cause it's your twin."
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
Why is helium so expensive? It is due to inflation.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to talk to me.
What does dark humor and a child with cancer have in common?
That it will never get old.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!