it's jokes
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
Spock went to the Enterprise's toilet and he knocked on it. "Kirk, are you in there?" Spock asked.
Kirk answered, "Hold on, I am making a captain's log."
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
How do you make a handkerchief dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
Sans: I like eating ketchup, don't believe me? It's ASRIEL as it gets!
UT Sans to UT pap: You FORGHETTIE the spaghetti!!!
Ink sans: umm lust? That's INKAPPROPRIATE!
Fell sans: I hate these double standards...if you burn a body at a crematorium you're doing "a good job," do it at home and your "destroying evidence."
Error sans: Every time you make a typo, the errorists win.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
I don't have luck with other angels. So I just WING IT!
What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?
The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.
This rat did the most amazing thing ever; it was pretty radical, dude.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs? Right where you left it.
What is 6" long, bright red, and your wife cries when you feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
A teacher gives her kindergarten students four flavors of lifesavers, and they have to guess the flavors. The students guess cherry, lime, and orange. They don't know the last flavor. So, the teacher gives them a hint and says, "It's what your parents call each other." [honey] But a little girl shouts and says, "OMG, they're assholes."
I read a story about a rabbit being raised. It was a hare-raising tale!