it's jokes
Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?
It was homesick.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich? I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Why do orphans go to church?
Because it's the only place where they get to call him "father."
What does a butt do when it is angry?
Butt crack!
What do you say to a clock?
"What time is it?"
Angel: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
Satan: Could you like FUCK OFF FOR ONE MINUTE?
A man goes into heaven and there he meets Jesus. He asks Jesus what that broken clock is there for. Jesus says, "That is Mother Teresa's clock, it has never moved because she has never lied." "There is Abraham Lincoln's clock. He has lied twice so it has moved twice." "Where is Donald Trump's?" asks the man. Jesus answers, "It is in my office, I am using it as a ceiling fan."
My car fell in a ditch today. Didn't want any more cars falling, so I put a car-pet over it.
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
Which president has never gone to jail?
Lincoln because he's innocent in a cent, get it?
What did the lampost say to the other lampost?
Nothing, because it can't speak.
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
Why did the toilet paper not make it across the road?
Because it got stuck in the crack.
I asked my North Korean friend, "what's it like to live in North Korea?" He responded, "can't complain."
How long is it?
Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint the wall?
A: Depends how hard you throw them.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
How many babies does it take to replace a light bulb? I'm guessing more than 10 cause it's still dark in my basement.