it's jokes
I heard they're making a film about Jimmy Savile, it's a very touchy subject.
I heard the film about is so boring it puts you to sleep.
My dog kept chasing people on a bike. Eventually, it got so bad I had to take his bike away.
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
I have the funniest joke ever, here it is...
Your face!
I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
What do you call a broken pencil? Never mind, it's pointless!
In Mario, it is called a Zoomba, but if it was real, it would be a boomba.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
How do you measure the circumference of Uranus?
By the rings around it.
Why was the pregnant cow mad all the time? It wasn’t in for the moo-d.
Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
Suicide gives you security for the future.
Decide the day of suicide and live with full joy till that day, and you can choose to postpone it.
What’s the difference a hooker an a drug dealer...?? A hooker can wash her crack an resell it.