it's jokes
This joke is about koala bears. It is high koala-ty.
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.
99% of women kiss with their eyes closed, that's why it's so hard to identify the rapist.
Why do cows do it for the mooooooooooooooooooo?
I once dated a math teacher. It turned out she was nothing but problems.
Hey guys, it's an alien!
Hey guys, it's cake time!
Why doesn’t the sun go to college?
Answer: Because it has a million degrees! 😀
"Hey man, what’s your name? Oh, my name is... Do your balls hang low? Can you swing it to and fro? Can you tie it in a knot? Can you tie it in a bow?"
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
It depends on how hard you throw them. 😈😈
A police pulls over a Mexican man trying to get into America. The Mexican man comes up with some sob story and the police say, "All right, all right ok," says the police, "I'll let you go if you can come up with a sentence that has the words green, pink, and yellow in it." The Mexican thought about it long and hard for almost 45 minutes and then the police says, "Ok ok let's hear it" after waiting impatiently. The Mexican said, "Ok ok don't rush me. I'm ready." The Mexican replied, "Ok when my phone green green, I pink it up and say Yellow!"