it's jokes
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.
My two friends came to me one day and said they had the best blowjob that they ever had from my little sister. So I ask my sister, "Is it true that you gave my friends blowjobs?" She said yes.
My sister asked me, "Do you want one?" I said yeah. My sister gave me a blowjob and wow, just like my friends, it was the best blowjob that I ever had. As an older brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?
Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.
How do you make a snooker table laugh? Tickle its balls!
The FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
I saw my sisters masturbating with cucumbers and hotdogs.
I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like hotdogs and cucumbers!"
Did Walmart take the Juneteenth ice cream off the shelf?
It was only 3/5 full.
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.
An ugly, poor teenage girl found a genie lamp in her backyard. The genie said, "I will grant you 3 wishes, but under 1 condition."
"What is it?" she asked.
"After I grant your final wish, you have to have sex with me," the genie replied.
"Okay, for my 1st wish, I wish to be the prettiest girl at my school," the genie snapped his fingers and made her pretty.
"For my 2nd wish, I wish for my family to be rich," the genie snapped his fingers and told her her family is now the richest in town.
"And your final wish?" the genie asked.
"I wish I had a sabertoothed vagina."
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What's the difference between Rorochan and skydivers?
One does it for the cash, the other for the views.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What’s the difference between jelly and jam?
You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?