it's jokes

I don't even know why to joke about America, it's a joke itself TO THE FUCKING EARTH!

Q: Why are orphans so scared to get married?

A: They don't know what it feels like to have a family.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

You nail its other hand to the floor.

Hey, how ya doin'?

Well I'm doin' just fine, I lied, I'm DEAD inside.

Don't tell me "it's gonna be alright," I've tried, but I can't fight like this.

Hey how ya doin', I'm tired but I'm trying to fight.

It’s all fun and games at “take your kid to work day” until you realize your dad is a suicide bomber.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?

So it can hang him.

Can you guys comment on my nuts jokes (aka Willma, Bofa, and Savor)? I just want to see if people don't think it's funny.

So a woman walks into a magician's toy store and browses the collection. Among which was a black, phallic-looking object. She brings it to the counter and asks, "what's this?"

The cashier explains that it's a magical dildo that will listen to whatever you say, "fuck me in the ass," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the ass, "fuck me in the pussy," it'll float in the air and fuck you in the pussy, "faster," it'll go faster, "harder," it'll go harder. She bought this magical artifact and went home for a night of fun and pleasure.

After receiving several orgasms from the magical dildo, she'd had enough, and she told it to stop, but it didn't. The dildo continued to penetrate her, it would go harder and faster, but it refused to stop or slow down. In a panic, she ran over to her car and drove to the hospital to get it surgically removed. Her panic made her disregard the traffic rules, and she quickly found herself pulled over by a cop. As she pulled down her window, the cop leaned towards the door and asked "Do you have any idea how fast you were going!?", the woman tried to explain the situation, she told the officer about the magical dildo stuck in her pussy, but the officer didn't believe her, "magical dildo, my ass" he said, and the lady drove home.

If I were to cut your legs off, would it hurt? Because your legs will be cut off...

Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.

The more I light my lighter, the lighter my lighter gets, until it's too light to light.

Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing to this day!

Q: What do kidnappers and rapists have in common?

H: It's similar to shoes.

A: White Vans.

I would make a Paul Walker joke, but it would crash and burn.

They named a road after George Floyd. It was a dead end, though.

You're so retarded, if there was a clone of you that was supposed to be smart, it would still be retarded.

Yo mama so fat, she's bigger than the universe itself!