it's jokes

A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:

"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."

Hi guys, jokes for sister.

So I was listening to a song about "I hate you, are annoying, sister. I'm small and I'm smart," and when I showed it to her, she killed me, and later I was dancing and crying.

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

POV: Wine Taster in hell.

I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"

The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.

"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."

"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."

Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."

Why do orphans love tennis?

Because it is the only place they can get love.

Why can’t Helen Keller drive?

It’s because she’s dead.

Who would win in a race, Stephen Hawking or a turtle?

The turtle, because it can walk.

I wrote a song about tortillas...

Actually, it's more of a wrap.

I wish they taught 9/11 at school.

It would make these jokes more explosive. 🧨

What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

I wrote a song about a tortilla yesterday, but it’s actually more of a rap.

If a vegan and a vegan have a fight, is it still considered beef?

Happy birthday to you, you look like a ball, can’t fit in my jaws, I try to suck it.

What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.

Is Google a male or female?

Female because it doesn’t let you finish your sentences before making a suggestion.

Why can’t the blind man find love?

It’s called love at first sight.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Why do orphans read BL or GL?

Cause they get to see what it’s like with a mummy or daddy.

How do stars get their name?

By a black hole because it's sueeeee!

What did the star say? It's Star Trek.