IT jokes
If an orphan was an animal, it would be an owl because they don't know "WHOOO" their parents are.
Me: Doctor, can I get a new butt? My old one has a crack in it.
Doctor: I told you a billion times already. Everyone's butt has a crack in it.
Me: How do you know that?
Your hairline is so bent, not even NASA can find it.
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
I have a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. It's a shame they never work!
Perfect dinner joke.
Did you hear about the new movie, "Constipated?"
It hasn’t come out yet.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. XD
Why is a circle gay?
It's not straight.
What does it say on Stephen Hawking's grave?
"Rust in peace."
The best part of you ran down your mother's leg... Einstein got ready to climax while doing math but realized you can't cumtilyain cumtilion. It's after sucktillion fucktillion.
What is the difference between a human and a magic house?
To the Earth, is the human body of the human being human? Is it human? Human can be the one day today after the night is the snow time and a.
I was at the store during a storm one time. I guess you could say it was story.
A woman goes to buy a parrot.
There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.
She asks why the last one is so cheap.
The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."
The lady buys it anyway.
When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"
When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"
When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"
One day, the Pope is coming to America in his limo, and he said to the driver, "Why don’t you let me drive for once?"
The driver thinks to himself, "Well, I can’t say no to this guy; he’s the Pope." So the driver pulls over, and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while, the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit; you might get pulled over."
The Pope says, "Ahhh, don’t worry about it; I’m the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments, he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car, and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"
The Pope says, "Sure." The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys, I just pulled over someone really important."
They ask who, "The President?"
"No, more important."
"The president of another country?"
"No, more important."
"An ambassador?"
"No, even more important."
"Well, who is it?"
"I don’t know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
Some bread teacher: What will Reddit be in a few years?
Dumb Kid: DEADit?
Bread Teacher: You get an FY for FUCK YOU!
Bread Teacher: It will be BREADit!
Student: Hah, that's VERY funny! Might as well go to DEADit so I can die of laughter.
Have you seen the new movie "Constipated"?
No, it hasn't come out yet.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
102, if you have some alive ones.
My life, get it, 'cause I don't got one.
Why'd the snake cross the road? It was in the chicken's butt.