IT jokes

Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?

A. Sunday school!

Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she turned on the TV, it changed channels by itself.

What do you say to your pet when you're super tired, slow, and worn out?

"I'm totally dogging it today..."

What would you name a detective if he didn't already have a name?

Cassie.

Get it?

Your forehead is so long, even Einstein didn’t know how to cross it.

What did the window say to the door?

"What are you squeaking about? I'm the one with the panes!"

Get it?

What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?

"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"

Get it?

There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.

Why did they only come home with 3 fish?

(Answer)

There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.

If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

What did the dog say when he got its tail caught in the door?

"It won't be long now..."

Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.

What is the best way to make a leaf?

Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!

So, I was in school, and there was a number saying "696969," so I said to my mother, "What does it mean?" She said, "Your fucking dad and I!"

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

I went to the table to eat my egg, but I couldn't find it anywhere.

I think someone must've poached it.

Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?

Because it's stable.

So, I walked up to my grandma and I said, "What color would you be on a rainbow cupcake?" She just turned 61, ok, ok. So I'm like, "I got it, I got it, ok, ok." She's like: "Ok, what color?" I say: "Grey."

There aren’t enough gymnastics jokes.

It’s flipping annoying! (Original)

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."