IT jokes

I took a pole today. 100% of the people in the tent were unhappy that it collapsed.

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

I say hi to Sans. Sans shows his hand and says, "It's hand to meet you," and we both laugh.

What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...

What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))

Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!

Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?

"Never mind, it's too fast."

Why can't an orphan watch the movie:

It was family rated.

Preventing suicide is best done by committing it.

Suicide isn't a joke. It's called "parkour gone wrong."

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

Walk up to the quiet kid and tell him to hang in there. Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Yo, hairline been missing so badly that the police had to put up a wanted poster for it!

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.