IT jokes

What did Michael Jackson say before he died, as far as his childhood? "This is it."

It's always fun to take anti-depressants, you either choose to take one, or the whole bottle.

I tried to high-five a tree. It left me hanging.

Yo mama so ugly, when she went to unlock her phone with her face, it said, "disconnected."

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.

Why can't an orphan be gay? It has no one to call daddy.

Butter believe it.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

I made a website for orphans.

It doesn't have a home page.

I once told a chemistry joke... sadly, it got no reaction.

Why can't orphans go to the hospital? Because it is a family hospital. Sorry for the long break in between my jokes. I just had some family stuff, but I am back.

Don't let mistakes drag you down. My dad made one mistake, but it ended up fulfilling the 5-year plan of heat energy generation in less than a millisecond.

I work as an IT technician. The other day, I had to fix Cristiano Ronaldo’s laptop. He pointed to a message on the screen saying, “Do you consent to cookies?” He said that he doesn’t eat cookies and doesn’t know what consent means, so that’s why he called me.

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

No, it's harmless.

How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.

When is a right time to dance on a body? If it is under the floorboards.

What did the cow say to its udders? "Hi."

I brought a new pen that can write underwater. It can also write other words.

A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.

But hay! It's in my jeans!