IT jokes

When do you know you are getting a good deal on a boat? -- When there's a sail on it.

The irony of metal jokes is pretty fun. But it leads to a lot of people stealing them.

Be warned, if you are in the shower, I might pikachu and it's not my fault if I see any jigglypuffs.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hair dryer.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.

I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.

What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?

She gagged and took it like a champ.

Can we stop talking about 9/11? I lost my dad in it.

He was a great pilot.

I got an Xbox achievement the other day. It said "Trash Master," and everyone looked at me at the funeral.

Dark humor is like water.

Not everybody gets it.

What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.

Q: How do you make a door cry?

A: Twist its knob.

When is a door not a door? When it's ajar.

Why is the bible like a penis You get it forced down your throat by a priest

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂

A man asked for poison and another man gave it to him. The first man took a sip and said, "hmmm, this tastes like arsenic." He took a sip of another and said, "hmmm, this tastes like cyanide. A very unpleasant taste that brings back memories."

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)